By Joanne Richard. As the pandemic lingers, so too the suspicion of touch. Do you flinch when someone reaches out to touch you? Anxious about a spontaneous hug or an encouraging pat on the back? If you’re feeling out of touch, you’re not alone. Eighteen months into the pandemic, and we’ve forsaken casual touch, from handshakes and hugs to pats, rubs, squeezes and strokes. And with dreary winter days looming ahead and continuing social distancing measures, who knows exactly the after-effects of this global experiment in touch deprivation. According to experts, people can experience touch starvation. “Human beings are uniquely wired to crave touch and to be touched,” says registered psychotherapist Joshua Peters, and we’re hungering for this form of communication but touch has become synonymous with fear and sickness in the pandemic. “Being held is one of the first ways we communicate feeling loved and connecting with others… touch reminds us that we are loveable and safe,” says Peters, a clinical supervisor at the Centre for Interpersonal Relationships, adding that there’s an increase in people in therapy describing their need to be touched and held. It’s an essential life ingredient but the pandemic has some of us enduring a solitary confinement of sorts, says Peters, and being touch deprived can make individuals more irritable or depressed. “Public health restrictions are essential for our greater health, but have no doubt taken a toll.” According to the 2020 BBC and Wellcome Collection survey, as the pandemic progressed, even those who lived with other people began craving more touch. Touch was the most vital nonverbal behaviour in the nursing profession when treating older patients. And the desire for touch may be felt more intensely by older adults, suggests a study published in Nursing Older People. It reports that touch was the most vital nonverbal behaviour in the nursing profession when treating older patients. “In old age, the tactile hunger is more powerful than ever, for it is the only sensuous experience that remains,” write the study researchers. Touch makes us tick, but according to Dr. Tiffany Fielding, we’ve actually been falling out of touch for quite some time. “It seems that the pandemic has only exacerbated the touch deprivation that was already happening.”  Fielding has been researching therapeutic touch for decades: “We studied touch at airport departure gates before the pandemic and folks were only touching 4% of the time. They were mostly on cell phones – and not talking – just texting and scrolling,” says Fielding, founder, and director of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami Medical School. One of her studies shows that in the U.S., couples in a café touched once every 30 minutes. In Paris, it was 20 times every 30 minutes. The no-touch culture isn’t good for us – we need a daily dose of touch, says Feilding. “We know from our research that moving the skin is critical for health.” Practices like massage and exercise can help us find calm and cope better. Skin stimulation actually slows down the heart rate and the release of stress hormones like cortisol, says Fielding. “When you reduce cortisol you can save natural killer cells that ward off bacterial, viral and cancer cells. Ironically, during a viral pandemic we need more natural killer cells and natural killer cell activity but with less touching that is not happening.” “Human touch is a critical and powerful part of our existence, and integral to our bodies ability to heal and regenerate” Until now, few comprehended the strength of touch, and most took it for granted. “It’s silent but potent. Human touch is a critical and powerful part of our existence, and integral to our body’s ability to heal and regenerate,” says Jim Corcoran, a pioneer in the health and wellness industry and founder of Ste. Anne’s Spa in Grafton, ON. “When we’re deprived of positive human touch, there’s lots of cascading negative side effects to our health – that’s why we’ve required therapeutic treatment as part of our spa experience since we opened 30 years ago.” Corcoran is seeing an overwhelming demand for their holistic services, particularly body massages, head massages and facials. People don’t feel comfortable traveling far and have faced very restricted access to the health/wellness sector, and this has resulted in a surge to satisfy an insatiable hunger for stress relief and rejuvenation in the form of restorative, prolonged, well-intentioned touch at his destination spa. He has witnessed touch taking a backseat in modern life: The rise of busy lifestyles and technology have replaced healthy skin contact. Cell phones are held instead of hands. In addition, “we’ve seen western medicine move away from human touch – there’s latex, paper or stainless steel between you and the caregiver,” says Corcoran. We need to prioritize touch as an important component of wellbeing, agree experts. It will take time to decondition our fear response to touch but “our deeply human yearning to touch and be touched will no doubt re-emerge with time and patience,” adds Peters. Take therapist Joshua Peters’ tips to buffer against touch deprivation

By Joanne Richard. Aging isn’t optional, but growing old is, says Chip Conley, mega hospitality entrepreneur and best-selling author, who’s inspiring a new kind of midlife learning and living, and bringing attention to the benefits of rewiring, not retiring for regeneration. Conley, 60, is shifting negative mindsets on aging through his midlife wisdom school, building regenerative communities, and frequent lectures on the benefits of age diversity in the workplace for regeneration. Regenerating rather than retiring is the way to remain relevant in your bonus years, believes Conley, who did just that as the leader at Airbnb. At the age of 52 and twice as old as the average Airbnb team member, the rebel boutique hotelier joined the promising home-sharing tech startup and helped grow it into the global hospitality giant it is today for regeneration. “The technical definition of retirement is to move into seclusion while regeneration means to bring something back to life,” says Conley, and that’s where purpose, instead of going out to pasture, comes in. “Wave goodbye to conventional and welcome intentional: Think golf courses being replaced by wisdom schools…“ His social projects provide a place and the tools to reframe a lifetime of experience for a relevant and exciting “middlescence.” His Modern Elder Academy (MEA) located in Baja California Sur offers learning, growth, and a fresh perspective through workshops and sabbaticals to help master elderhood. And he’s reimagining retirement communities. Wave goodbye to conventional and welcome intentional: Think golf courses being replaced by wisdom schools, says Conley, where purpose and connection flourish in regenerative communities of interconnected, interdependent living. The first of a collection of communities will open in Santa Fe, New Mexico in 2023 on 2,500 acres. “People are more thirsty for community given their experience with the pandemic,” says Conley, who writes a daily blog called Wisdom Well. Aging isn’t to be feared as long as you embrace purpose, wellness and community, says Conley, adding that Yale professor Becca Levy has shown in her research that when you shift from a negative or neutral perspective on aging to a positive mindset, you add 7.4 years of additional, happy life. Instead of becoming like turtles and retreating into our shells as we age – which is actually isolating and speeds up the aging process – consider sticking out your neck and embracing curiosity. Along with increased EQ and happiness, Conley says that “it’s with our necks stuck out that we will also stay curious, interested and inspired… just because we age doesn’t mean we stop growing and exploring the future of aging..” His advice for aging wise and well? “We tend to think of wellness as a personal endeavour when, in fact, The Blue Zones research shows that ‘social wellness’ is one of the key determinants of longevity and happiness later in life. ‘Illness’ starts with the letter ‘I’ while ‘wellness’ starts with the letters ‘we.’ “So, don’t think that your healthy aging is just about your personal exercise, nutrition and sleep. It’s also about who you spend time with and what kind of meaningful relationships you have in your life” “So, don’t think that your healthy aging is just about your personal exercise, nutrition and sleep. It’s also about who you spend time with and what kind of meaningful relationships you have in your life,” he says. Conley is proof that sharing wisdom acquired from a lifetime of careers can fuel personal fulfillment, businesses, and communities, and that age diversity at work makes for better workplaces and intergenerational rejuvenation. His book Wisdom@Work: The Making of a Modern Elder, tells the tale of being an Airbnb mentor and, surprisingly, an intern at times too. Older and younger workers need each other, and all ages can learn from each other. “We have five generations in the workplace for the first time and 40% of employees have a boss younger than them. By 2025, the majority of American employees will have a younger boss. This means we need to create intergenerational collaboration like we’ve never done before. “Often, this could mean that a younger employee is teaching an older employee DQ (digital intelligence) while an older employee is teaching a younger one EQ (emotional intelligence) especially around leadership skills. Both employees and the company are better off for this kind of mutual mentorship.”  The idea of retiring and rehiring is big now. And there’s a real opportunity to collaborate and transfer wisdom. Conley says we need to help companies see that age diversity on teams can make a big difference in companies while also “acknowledging that everyone should be a ‘mentern’ – a mentor and intern at the same time.” One of the cofounders at Airbnb told him that he was the perfect alchemy of curiosity and wisdom – a modern elder, and that’s how he got the title. “It’s that beginner’s mindset that we need to have our whole lives,” adds Conley. “And it’s often shared across generations, in both directions—as a modern elder may have as much to learn from a young person as vice versa” Learning and community make for meaningful second and third chapters: “We’re living longer, organizational power is shifting younger, and the world is changing faster. That leaves people bewildered. I wanted to create a place where people could get the tools and support to feel confident and inspired in the second half of their adult life.” To date, over 1,000 people from two dozen countries have enrolled in his ocean-front academy. Learners range in age from 30 to 88, with an average age of 54. More than 60% are women. Conley is hopeful that his social ventures will be “a catalyst for a new kind of inclusive, intentional community that helps mainstream the idea that wisdom isn’t taught, it’s shared. “And it’s often shared across generations, in both directions—as a modern elder may have as much to learn from a young person as vice versa. Unlike a traditional business focused on amassing massive market share and squeezing out the competition,…
Read more

By Joanne Richard. “Live longer better” is Colin Milner’s motto but to do that we need a seismic shift in how we view the aging population and cater to their needs, prompting us to rethink aging. “The 50+ market now accounts for 70% of disposable income, a number that has grown from 50% twenty years ago” There’s immense untapped potential in industries and services: “The 50+ market now accounts for 70% of disposable income, a number that has grown from 50% twenty years ago,” says Milner, CEO of the International Council of Active Aging, and a leading expert in the health and wellbeing of the older adult. That simple statistic is now impacting virtually event segment of society and most industries, directly and indirectly, says Milner. “What this means is the creation of new industries, products, education, programs, policies, marketing efforts, built environments, expertise, and investment.” But we need to pick up the pace to embrace active aging. At least the aging conversation is more balanced and, instead of a one-dimensional focus on disease management and fixing issues, it recognizes and celebrates that many challenges of aging can be minimized, delayed, or managed to enable us to live our best lives longer, shaping the future of aging. “From how long we can or want to work, to the types of vacations or trips we take, to going back to school in our 60s or 70s, to opening new businesses later in life, the world for its old population is ready to be explored – yet, we are still lacking in our response,” he says. “Many people think active aging is just about being physically active, but it’s not.” “Organizations and government need to up their games, as do individuals who lack the belief in their capabilities,” says Milner, who has launched a podcast called Colin Milner Rethinks Aging With… and he interviews thought-leaders, researchers and aging-well disruptors so we all rethink aging. The greatest barrier to active aging is language, says Milner. Many people think active aging is just about being physically active, but it’s not. “It is about being engaged, versus not, in as many areas as life as you wish.” Rethink aging and its implications on our perceptions of what it means to age actively are crucial in breaking through these misconceptions. A recent survey shows that 90% of older adults believe that healthy aging is about being able to do what you want to do when you want to do it. “But you need to build this foundation to be able to achieve this new life that science, experts, media, and peers tout.” That requires a big rethink because the common thinking is that we’re not capable and feeble, and it’s wrong. That mindset impacts everything from the way people view and treat you, to the way we view and treat ourselves, Milner stresses. Negative thoughts about aging influence our longevity: “From the workplace to social cohesion to whether you live an engaged and vibrant second half of life or whether your own self-perception of aging can potentially take 7.6 years off your life, due to negative thinking, according to Becca Levy at Yale University.” “… if you embrace a lifestyle that keeps you fit, engaged, cognitively sharp, less stress, lower alcohol intake, that you will live better longer.” However, Milner sees changes happening globally: Sarah Harpers, director of Oxford Institute of Population Ageing, says that we should look at all older people as active adults until the point we are frail and need care. And the cover of MIT Technology Review magazine stated, Old Age Is Over and in small letters, If You Want It. “What they are really saying is that if you embrace a lifestyle that keeps you fit, engaged, cognitively sharp, less stress, lower alcohol intake, that you will live better longer.” A study by the American Heart Association shows that if in our 50s we maintained a healthy lifestyle with those five habits, women would live 14 years longer and better, and men 12 years. “It’s a new day for all of us, we just need to understand this and embrace it. A life of inactivity, social isolation, junk food, alcohol and tobacco all come with a cost,” says Milner. The problem for most is that we come late to that realization. We need to understand that we need to own our longevity and health span. “And be curious … curiosity keeps us interested in learning more and exploring more of life.” Milner’s RX for living longer better? And be curious! Curiosity is powerful, and it’s been a running theme brought up by his podcast guests –one that Milner admits he did not expect. “Whether Chip Conley professing that this (curiosity) is his superpower, or Ken Dychtwald naming his book Radical Curiosity because that is how he is, or my 109-year-old grandmother who is as curious as you can get, I think that we all could benefit from becoming more curious. “Curiosity keeps us interested in learning more and exploring more of life,” he adds. *** This is what Conley, a bestselling author and hospitality entrepreneur, had this to say about curiosity on Milner’s recent podcast: “Peter Drucker was quite prescient, a real forecaster. Now, he wrote two-thirds of his 40 books after the age of 65. But the reason I bring him up around curiosity is because I have emulated something that he used to do. “Every two years, he would study a topic that he knew nothing about but he was passionately curious about that topic and he wanted to become one of the world’s leading experts. It was everything from Japanese ikebana, like flower arranging, to medieval war strategies. “He felt like curiosity was the elixir of life, and it lubricated the heart, the mind, the soul.” *** In addition to curiosity, Milner and his guests discussed the idea of regeneration instead of retirement. The term retirement should be retired – “as we live well beyond the age…
Read more

By Joanne Richard. Don’t let anyone tell you that social media influencing is for the young and wrinkle-free. Spirited, fashion-forward, hashtag-savvy 60-plus-year-olds like Lyn Slater are becoming online celebrities and enjoying the fame, and for some the fortune. Age is not a barrier to expressing oneself – especially on social media. Active agers galore are sharing their energy and wit and savvy online, whether it be for fashion, fitness, food, adventure, travel and more, and are changing the perceptions of aging. Who is Lyn Slater? Instagram fashion influencer Lyn Slater is the Accidental Icon and over the past few years, she has purposefully grown her Instagram followers to 753,000 by showcasing striking couture and her bold personal style, accessorized with her steely stare or dramatic sunglasses. In a competitive social media sea of fresh, young faces, the 67-year-old embraces her grey hair and wrinkles, along with the latest trends and technology. The recently retired professor has always had edgy, head-turning style – often mistaken for being in the fashion industry, hence her moniker – and has built on her passions for clothing, culture and writing to show her wear-abouts to the world. While fading with age is seen as the norm, Slater has never been more visible or powerful. She’s worked with some of the world’s top luxury brands including Loro Piana, Kate Spade, Valentino Eyewear, Dior, Uniqlo, Gucci Beauty, Noble Panacea, LaPrairie, Bally, Maison Margiela Fragrances, Farfetch, Net-a-Porter and more. She is with a talent management agency and has a literary agent. Slater sees herself as providing her “followers with inspiration and permission to wear what makes you happy regardless of what someone else may think or choose to wear.” How does she pick her pieces? “I choose based on who I am in the particular time I’m living in, what I’m doing and the particular aspect of my identity I might want to highlight on any given day.” “I never set out to change perceptions of aging, I just wanted to express myself creatively and do something different than my work as a professor.“ With a calm, refined, uncluttered social media presence, bare on hashtags and big on upscale collaboration, she shows aging in a vibrant, self-accepting way. She is comfortable in her own grandma skin – there is no retouching. “I never set out to change perceptions of aging, I just wanted to express myself creatively and do something different than my work as a professor. Inadvertently I ended up showing that the future of aging is not to be feared but can be a time of new experiences and adventures,” says Slater, who retired two years ago as a professor of social work and law at Fordham University. Her newest adventure is a restoring an old house after moving out of New York City and enjoying having access to nature as well as living in a smaller community. No country bumpkin for her though – she’s brought along her Prada, Dior and more. She especially loves her second career of creating content for social media, which she does a few times a week, and is busy studying photography and growing her passion for writing non-academic essays. During the pandemic, she’s been ruminating about her life and aging, and it’s resonating with her followers. In a recent blog, she writes: “I’ve accepted that I’m old and feel no shame, no despair about it. In fact, I decided to inhabit it completely and explore it as an unknown territory, much as I would a city I’ve never been to before.” There’s nothing you can do to control aging, so try to be the best you can be. Just like her jeans, her very favourite clothing item – “I love that they become better as they age” – she too is doing the same. “Even as we are fading and becoming even more worn, we continue to create new narratives and add more value to ourselves with each passing day,” she blogs. Slater’s platforms crush dowdy stereotypes. “We need more positive representations of aging in the media. Let’s get rid of the fear and make people actually look forward to getting older,” says Ari Seth Cohen, a celebrated photographer and author whose Advanced Style project is devoted to featuring senior street style on Instagram @advancedstyle, and in his photos, film and books. In a world that promotes aging as ugly and needs to be fixed, Cohen beautifully celebrates and empowers stylish seniors. “We are told that wrinkles are wrong because the beauty industry makes huge profits off of our fears and insecurities. I have always loathed the term anti-aging. Anyone who is lucky enough to get to an older age should be embraced, celebrated and made to feel worthy. “I started Advanced Style in celebration of my grandmother Bluma who was my best friend. My perspective is that we should all have the permission and freedom to be and express whatever we want no matter what age we are,” says Cohen, author of Advanced Style: Older and Wiser.   He encourages seniors to share their energy and experiences lives online, just like two of his book models and Instagram favourites, @saramaijewels and @lesleyhasmanyhats. To have an online presence, you need authenticity and originality, along with “having a point of view and connecting with your audience in a way that creates a conversation beyond just style.” Slater figures her popularity comes from her honesty, and keeping things real: “Older people are very diverse and aging is an individual experience. I’m just showing how I as one woman am approaching aging. Aging has both good and not so good aspects to it… I’m not on a crusade about it. I believe that showing gets much better results than telling.” While Slater adores fashion, social media doesn’t get the same rave reviews. She’s been tech savvy for many years as her training in social welfare policy taught her to forecast cultural phenomenon. “I owned the first laptop computer ever made by Apple and was an early adapter of…
Read more

By Joanne Richard. Social isolation is worsening and detrimental to seniors’ health. Dr. Nancy Jecker embraces robot companions as an answer for the aging and loneliness in the age of AI. “Companion robots can help the elderly age in place better and longer” Companion robots can help the elderly age in place better and longer, and provide much-needed social interaction and even physical affection, according to Dr. Nancy Jecker, a professor of bioethics and humanities at the University of Washington School of Medicine in Seattle. Jecker has been studying aging for decades and she sees a future of robotic technology integrated into the social lives of older adults in many supportive ways, including supporting emotional health and wellbeing and countering against ageism. It’s crucial to rethink aging and consider innovative approaches like robotic technology to enhance the lives of older adults. “Future robots could be designed to help alleviate the unmet social and emotional needs of older people. This could include being available 24/7 to serve as friends, caregivers, confidantes, and sexual partners,” said Jecker, who was interviewed by Custodia. “Being socially isolated not only feels bad, it literally makes people sick“ The bioethicist has witnessed the declining ranks of workers to help care-dependent older adults and the rapidly growing ranks of senior citizens who are living longer but are isolated. “Far more than any other age group, older people are socially isolated and lonely. Being socially isolated not only feels bad, it literally makes people sick,” and is strongly associated with an increased risk of dying, Jecker said. Robot-human relationships can fill a void and serve as an important new alternative to human-human relationships, said Jecker. She has written extensively about some of the key roles sociable robots can play for older people as caregivers (carebots), friends (friendbots), and in her most recent paper, as sexual partners (sexbots) and intimate companions. Jecker published a paper in the Journal of Medical Ethics entitled “Nothing to be ashamed of: sex robots for older adults with disabilities.” She is also the author of the E-book and print book: Ending Midlife Bias: New Values for Old Age (Oxford University Press, 2020). According to Jecker, robots are already increasingly emotionally intelligent and capable of serving as friends and companions. They can relate to us on a personal level, read our non-verbal cues, sing, play games, and be good companions. “This matters because sexual fulfillment is not just about physical satisfaction, it’s about being in a relationship and affiliating.” These robots present the possibility of forming a relationship and feeling close to another, which differs from other assistive devices, she said. Future robots will be able to touch, rub, hug, pat, and hold hands with older people without causing injury. “A promising new field of research is soft robotics. Soft robotics mimics soft-bodied creatures in nature, replacing hard metallic surfaces of traditional robots with softer, pliable surfaces.” She added that soft robots will be safe for older end users who, as a group, tend to be more frail, less agile, have worse balance, more porous bones, and less muscle mass. “This would all represent a massive rethink on our part regarding how we view ageism, sex and seniors, and robots as friends/lovers.” “… since people tend to attribute race to humanoid robots, we should deliberately design robots to cater to a racially diverse clientele.” Today’s sex robots are sexist, racist, ableist, ageist, and heterosexist, she said, and her latest paper is a bid for reimagining them. “From an ethical perspective, we need to support human dignity and to take seriously the claims of those whose sexuality is diminished by disability or isolation. Society needs to make reasonable efforts to help them.” She hopes that future robots will target more diverse end-users, including people of all ages, genders, abilities, races, and cultures. “For example, since people tend to attribute race to humanoid robots, we should deliberately design robots to cater to a racially diverse clientele. “As robots become increasingly integrated into our homes and workplaces, they bring with them implicit social norms and values. They have the capacity to rapidly reproduce and reinforce implicit social biases or to expand people’s thinking to be more inclusive,” she said. Robot-human relationships can enhance our quality of life and support human social needs in important ways. We could take a cue from our Japanese counterparts, offered Jecker. Some Japanese end users may find it easier to bond with robots compared to their Western counterparts. They may be less likely to think of robots as “empty” inside. For instance, the integration of technology like the Chaton AI chatbot reflects how technology can bridge cultural gaps and foster connections. “We can learn from the Japanese to avail ourselves of the rich possibilities human-robot relationships will increasingly offer. Robot-human relationships can enhance our quality of life and support human social needs in important ways. They will not be the same as human-human relationships; they will be something else.”

By Joanne Richard. Canadians of all ages are feeling the impacts of the pandemic outbreak but older workers have been particularly hit hard in the accompanying economic downturn. “Older workers are likely to be more experienced, more costly, and therefore at greater risk…” According to AARP research, since the onset of COVID-19, workers 55 and older lost jobs sooner and were rehired slower. It typically takes them twice as long to find work again compared to their younger counterparts ages 35 to 54. This segment of the workforce is talented, committed, and flexible, with a litany of valuable transferable skills, yet the still-flourishing ageism trend acts against them in the workplace and, apparently, so too the seniority that had protected them in earlier downturns, particularly as they navigate the challenges associated with the aging brain. “Older workers are likely to be more experienced, more costly, and therefore at greater risk, when there is an economic contraction and employers want to cut payroll costs,” says Dr. Michael Merzenich, renowned neuroscientist at the University of California and a world authority on brain plasticity. “They may also be perceived as less tech-savvy and less able to adapt to working remotely – though that is often inaccurate, since these are workers with decades of good work habits.” As vaccinations roll out and the economy bounces back, there’ll be new opportunities rolling out. Don’t let unemployment be career-ending. As vaccinations roll out and the economy bounces back, there’ll be new opportunities rolling out. And while starting a new career may be daunting, neuroscience tells us that change and challenge are good for the aging brain. According to Merzenich, rejoining the workforce will require uncovering hidden skills and abilities by trying out new careers or retirement work, and getting proactively creative. No matter your age, never underestimate your ability to meet challenges and evolve in changing times. “We are constructed to change. Brain plasticity – the ability of the brain to change chemically, structurally, and functionally throughout life – is our greatest human asset,” says Merzenich, who developed the new field of brain training exercises and is a regular on PBS as the subject of Brain Secrets and The Brain Revolution. At any age, every brain is capable of very substantial change, in an improving and strengthening direction. Progressively challenging forms of brain usage grow brain power, he says. Your brain is enlivened by challenges that require new skill acquisition and new learning. “At any age, every brain is capable of very substantial change, in an improving and strengthening direction.” Incredibly, the negative changes in the brain that contribute to functional and neurological decline are very substantially reversible – at any age. “The likelihood that you will progress to ‘lose your marbles’ is substantially within your hands because the great majority of people have the capability to ‘turn back the clock’ vis-a-vis their organic brain health and its functional powers.” Merzenich offers these tips to help older job seekers rejoin the workforce:

By Joanne Richard. Spring is here and what’s certain is that warm weather and sunshine will replace the dark days of winter. “Your brain wants to know what’s around the next corner so it can keep you out of harm’s way.” While sunnier days beckon, uncertainty lingers as the pandemic and intermittent lockdowns continue to cloud our horizons. As human beings, we crave security and a sense of control, and the pandemic has disrupted routines and everyday tasks, and given us lots to worry about. Even with vaccinations on the rise, many of us can’t help but feel stressed and unsettled about what our new normal will look like. Our brain dislikes uncertainty, says author and psychotherapist Dr. Bryan Robinson. Your brain wants to know what’s around the next corner so it can keep you out of harm’s way. “It always assumes the worst… You’re hardwired to overestimate threats and underestimate your ability to handle them  all in the name of survival.” • Identify things you can control To thrive, not just survive, in these uncertain times of uncertainty, identify things that you can control, Robinson recommends. “It can be simple things such as wearing a mask in public, arranging furniture, healthy self-care such as meditation, exercise, nutrition, and sleep.” Asserting our will over our living space and getting things in order give people a sense of mastery and control, and lowers stress and anxiety. Tackle chores, projects and home repairs that may have been neglected over the past year. Asserting our will over our living space and getting things in order give people a sense of mastery and control, and lowers stress and anxiety, reports research by Darby Saxbe, assistant professor of psychology at the University of California. COVID fear has taken its toll on us, and the winter has taken its toll on your house and property – having a tidy backyard will provide a calming oasis that can make you healthier and happier, and reduce the risk of falls. Getting small home repairs done now can prevent larger, more expensive problems and worries in the future. “As things go downhill, create or rebirth something new. It’s invigorating and energizing.” • Helping others helps you Besides asserting control over a few simple things, further diminish stress by creating something new, suggests Robinson. “You don’t have to be an artist. But there’s an old saying that as things go downhill, create or rebirth something new. It’s invigorating and energizing.” In addition, help others and, in return, receive something known as “the helper’s high.” Robinson says that helping others takes the focus off ourselves, gives us purpose and makes us feel good, not to mention making things better for another person. “Thinking of the common good actually enlarges our perspective and helps us appreciate the blessings we already have.” • Focus on what you’re grateful for Practice gratitude, advises Robinson. Make a list of all the things in your life you are thankful for. That requires you to focus on the positive instead of the negative.  “Your attitude is everything if you want to thrive.” “I had a multi-millionaire older man who built skyscrapers and was mad because he had to pay $1 million in taxes. He had lost count of the fact that he made $15 million that year. He was a rich man leading an impoverished life. Your attitude is everything if you want to thrive.” • Reduce stress with self-care Keep in mind that self-care is your first line of defense against the damage of ongoing uncertainty. “Self-care makes your use of time more sustainable. Healthy eating, rest and regular exercise increase your stamina to withstand any perceived threat to your survival.”  Indulge in restorative activities that rejuvenate your mind and body and restore your energy and peace of mind, Robinson recommends. “Make a 10- or 15-minute appointment with yourself daily, and schedule personal time – a hobby, hot bath, manicure, yoga, facial, reading, contemplate nature, or meditate.” Read also, A note from our founder on the COVID-19 Pandemic. • Stress compromises immune system Your perspective is the most powerful thing you can control in a situation that is beyond your control, Robinson adds. Fear, panic and worry are not preparation or productive – “they add insult to injury, another layer of stress that can compromise the immune system and, paradoxically, make us even more vulnerable to the virus.” “Changing your perspective and reminding yourself that many gifts await you in the unknown future, that it contains many positive outcomes as well as negative ones, is a game changer.” Offset negative thoughts by finding an upside to a downside situation, he suggests. “Changing your perspective and reminding yourself that many gifts await you in the unknown future, that it contains many positive outcomes as well as negative ones, is a game changer.”

March is a great month to celebrate women of all ages – from change-makers and senior trailblazers to entrepreneurs and women who live out their dream jobs. “I found it invigorating being the only woman in the room” International Women’s Day is March 8 and let’s honour women who pave the way for others and break down barriers to gender equality. This year’s theme for IWD is #ChooseTo Challenge and these senior trailblazers chose to challenge in their own way, before feminism was an object of cultural discourse. In the 50s when women were relegated to the kitchen or secretarial roles, Jean Davey fearlessly entered the world of finance, and triumphantly climbed her way to the top of the stock market in an industry dominated by sexism, disapproval and disparagement. Davey, who turns 90 in June, became Canada’s first woman to be a licensed stockbroker and VP at a major finance company. “I found it invigorating being the only woman in the room,” says Davey. The Only Woman in the Room: The Making of a Stockbroke is the name of her book and it follows her inspiring and remarkable ascent on Bay Street. Davey’s career in finance spanned 50 years, through the era of three-martini lunches and the impenetrable old boys club to putting major cracks in the glass ceiling when, at age 73, she was appointed VP and director of Scotia McLeod. Own your successes and aim higher. Through the highs and the lows, that’s what Davy did, and she wishes she could do it all over again. “Life and working hard is a hoot!” Her advice: Own your successes and aim higher. Through the highs and the lows, that’s what Davy did, and she wishes she could do it all over again. “Life and working hard is a hoot!” “If he is doing it, you can do it. Get rid of the idea that you are not great.” From her humble start stuffing envelopes at General Motors in Grade 12 to learning to type and read financial reports as a secretary to the president, the trailblazer went on to rule the trading floor. “I climbed as high as the number two salesperson out of 200 colleagues. I just went for it and didn’t think about it being hard or easy. I went for what I wanted,” says Davey, who lives at Amica Senior Lifestyles in Toronto. That’s her advice to women everywhere: “Don’t worry about barriers, because life is a barrier. Let it be known what you feel about yourself,” says Davey. “If you think you are smart at something, say it, do it.” “The one thing I wish I had done was be a director of a publicly-owned firm. I never asked because I thought I am a female, it is all men, and they don’t want a woman – I talked myself out of it and I regret it.” While attaining power in her profession was hard fought, her book candidly details personal challenges and triumphs too, including ending an unhappy marriage in which she felt controlled and belittled, and then finding the love of her life and remarrying at age 65, showcasing the resilience and fortitude of senior trailblazers. Regrets? Not many: “The one thing I wish I had done was be a director of a publicly-owned firm. I never asked because I thought I am a female, it is all men, and they don’t want a woman – I talked myself out of it and I regret it.” Whatever you dream, you can do it – “I didn’t realize this until later,” adds Davey, mom of two. “If he is doing it, you can do it. Get rid of the idea that you are not great.” Best Christmas Gift Ideas for Seniors Meanwhile, Mona Sager was flying high in a different way while Davey was making a name for herself in the financial world. Sager, 92, became a private pilot more than 70 years ago – she was just 17 and in high school when she started working at the Oshawa Flying Club, and signed up for flying lessons at $11.50 an hour. With hard work and dedication, it wasn’t long before Sager gave up club chores to pilot sightseeing tours around the city in a single-engine Aeronca aircraft. Then came the aerobatics! Sager was unstoppable: She entered a spot landing competition and won. The contest focused on training for emergency landings and entailed flying to a certain height, cutting the engine and making a safe landing on a target. She not only won the Oshawa Flying Club Spot Landing Competition but that day, amongst her all-male competitors, she met her future husband and they married three months later. Sager adds that her passengers’ reactions varied when they boarded for a flight: She had passengers literally disembark after seeing a female at the controls while others specifically requested her to fly them places. “Just do it, don’t worry about what people will think or how they will react. If you want to do it, get up and do it.” Sager recalls having a teacher in school say to her: “You will never amount to anything.” Mona proved her wrong. Her advice to young girls: “Just do it, don’t worry about what people with think or how they will react. If you want to do it, get up and do it.” She went on to work at Oshawa Engineering and have two children. She lives at Amica in Whitby. By Joanne Richard.

By Joanne Richard. The coronavirus outbreak hasn’t worsened ageism – instead it’s magnified our harmful ageist culture that has gone unchallenged for far too long, activist Ashton Applewhite tells Custodia. And that exposure is a good thing: “The crisis has brought age, aging and oldness out of the dark corners and into the centre of the damn room,” says the ageism disruptor and author, “and it’s giving us an extraordinary opportunity to build on that awareness – to mobilize against ageism and change its course. I just wish it hadn’t taken this hideous human cost…” We live in a society that barrages us with negative messages about how truly awful it is to age and our only value is in being young. This discrimination divides us, costs us lots of money, fills us with terrible dread, and cripples our personal and professional lives. “You’re more likely to live longer – an average of 7 ½ years longer – walk faster, and recover from illness and injury quicker” “Our fears about aging are way of whack with reality, and knowing the facts about getting older leads to a happier, healthier approach for society,” says Applewhite. Reject age shaming. Get off the treadmill of age denial. Stop the hand-wringing! You’re aging yourself, literally. “Our attitudes towards aging affect how our minds and bodies function on a cellular level – ageism makes us sick and shortens lives,” says Applewhite, author of This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism and blogs at thischairrocks.com. She recommends adopting a fact-based rather than fear-based attitude towards aging. And here are the facts about having the facts: You’re more likely to live longer – an average of 7 ½ years longer – walk faster, and recover from illness and injury quicker, says Applewhite. “Aging is not a problem to be fixed or a disease to be cured,” she says. “It is a natural, powerful, lifelong process that unites us all.” Older people with positive self-perceptions are less likely to develop Alzheimer’s, even if we have the gene that predisposes us to that disease, she says. “Actually, dementia rates are actually falling fast. All age-related diseases are declining.” All the worrying and the irrational fear of memory loss generate debilitating anxiety, and this makes us more vulnerable to exactly what we fear the most, she says. The fear is bad for our health and bad for our lives. It’s not all diapers, depression and dementia! “We’re terrified at the prospect that we’ll be drooling in some institution someday, yet only around 3% of older Canadians are living in nursing homes,” says Applewhite. In Canada, 92% of men and women aged 65 and over live at home. “People are happiest at the beginnings and the ends of their lives.” While our fears are real and legitimate, not all of your darkest fears are going to come true. Most “olders” are not falling apart, nor are they train wrecks. Most of us are likely to fall somewhere in the messy middle of the pizza, she says, muddling along just fine – and most people really like getting older. “People are happiest at the beginnings and the ends of their lives. If you don’t want to take my word for it, Google ‘U-curve of happiness.’ Even as age strips us of the things we cherished – physical strength, beloved friends, toned flesh – we grow more content,” Applewhite writes in her Manifesto. But that’s not the way it’s spun by the beauty or medical industries – they profit from pathologizing this natural transition, says Applewhite. We treat it as a disease, we treat it as a social problem, and that’s because no one makes money from satisfaction. Think hard about your attitudes towards age and aging. Where do they come from, who profits from your fears, are they based on observable reality? “Aging is not a problem to be fixed or a disease to be cured,” she says. “It is a natural, powerful, lifelong process that unites us all.” Ask yourself why does aging well mean struggling to look and move like younger versions of ourselves? “It’s embarrassing to be called old until we stop being embarrassed about it!” Unfortunately, our youth-obsessed, sexist, misogynistic, capitalist culture idealizes those who appear not to age, says Applewhite, like older people running marathons or jumping out of airplanes. “Hey, if they inspire you, fantastic, but never forget they are outliers, they are not typical. There should be zero shame if you don’t want to jump out of an airplane, or can’t or can’t afford to jump out of an airplane.” Or you can’t climb stairs or drive at night. Her definition of successful aging: “If you wake up in the morning, you’re aging successfully.” “By having friends of all ages, you will educate and inform yourself organically and help dismantle ageism.” Enjoy the older years by saving for retirement, taking care of your health, and making friends of all ages. “Think of something you want to do and find a mixed-aged group to do it with. By having friends of all ages, you will educate and inform yourself organically and help dismantle ageism.” Ideally, intergenerational living in the form of affordable, age-friendly housing enriches us all. Aging in place is fine as long as we have a way to be socially connected to people and get the help we’re going to need, she says. “Sure, it’s scary to realize that we’re not going to be able to shovel our driveway one day, so do you have a plan for who is going to shovel for you? It’s not about old, sad people needing help – it’s about all ages being in contact with each other.” Tackling ageism requires collective action by companies, communities, and all of us making noise. “Autonomy requires collaborators. We are social creatures: all of life is interdependence. Let’s acknowledge our lifelong need for helping hands and reach for them gratefully and without shame.” Shifting our attitudes and national priorities is critical…
Read more

Once life goes back to normal and people are getting out again and returning to work, there could be some post-COVID pet regret along with our new best furry friends facing a lot of unfamiliar alone time. Pandemic puppy purchases may be in the moment, but pet ownership is a long-term commitment. Pandemic Puppy demand is soaring. Humane societies and animal rescue organizations across Canada report a spike in new adoptions and fosters, so much so that supply is low. And the tremendous ongoing demand from over-eager consumers has sent puppy prices skyrocketing with several Kijiji listings asking $3,000 and upward for a mutt – with no guarantees of health, breed or temperament. While craving companionship is understandable, the end result could be more than you bargained for. According to Dr. Rebecca Greenstein, Canadian veterinary medical advisor for Rover, “while it’s important for everyone to have the opportunity to experience the joy and love of pet companionship, especially during a time of heightened stress and loneliness, it’s also vital that folks consider everything before rushing into a decision.” Lonely seniors have been disproportionately kept away from loved ones during the pandemic, and the companionship, sense of belonging, and stress relief that pets can offer could be hugely beneficial – but in the right situations, said Greenstein, chief vet and owner of Kleinburg Veterinary Hospital at kleinburgvet.ca.   Pets have an unmistakable allure, especially in uncertain times and as birthday and Christmas gifts, but they are not a toy or a novelty gift. “Owning an animal is a tremendous responsibility over the entirety of its lifetime – in the case of some birds, this could mean decades of care,” Greenstein said. Seniors need to make an honest assessment of their own mobility and physical fitness: Are you able and willing to go for long walks several times a day? If your large dog gets hurt, could you realistically lift him or her into a vehicle by yourself? Another key consideration is the cost of pet ownership. Routine veterinary visits, food, and grooming all add up. Emergency medical bills can run into the thousands so it’s essential to consider pet insurance and to set aside funds as early as possible, Greenstein added. Check out Food For Good Mood. In addition, consider your lifestyle and home circumstances. “Once the pandemic ends and you’re busy socializing again, do you have the time to devote to pet care? While certain pets can be happily kept in an apartment, other active breeds need pace like a backyard or park to run about so take stock of your home and be honest about where it ranks on the pet-friendliness scale.”  While there’s a good reason we call them man’s best friend, canines are not appropriate for all people under all circumstances, stressed Greenstein. “Smaller, calmer, and more sedentary breeds are likely a better choice for seniors but thorough research is a must before bringing a fur baby home!” According to Greenstein, cats are another good choice. Unlike dogs, they don’t require the same amount of physical activity and most cats thrive indoors only. “Just be sure that no one in the home has allergies and remember that cats can live to over 20 years of age, so you’re in it for the long term.” Fish are an often overlooked pet. They are colourful and beautiful and some non-tropical species are fairly easy to care for. “Studies have shown that even owning a goldfish as a pet can have significant health benefits as an owner,” she said. What are the best dogs for seniors? Consider smaller, calmer breeds with less exercise requirements includingminiature poodles, bichons, yorkies, shih tzus and maltese. Some of these can bark a lot, require a lot of grooming and have a variety of common health issues so be sure to do your research beforehand, advised Greenstein.  What are the best to avoid these dogs if you’re a senior? German shepherds, Rottweilers, and Dobermans are beautiful dogs but require a lot of exercises and intense training. Herding breeds like Australian shepherds are intelligent but need a lot of physical activity and attention. Golden Retrievers are kind, loyal, and wonderful family pets but might be a little too destructive, especially as puppies, and need significant space and exercise. If adding a new family member is feasible both short-term and in the future, the added companionship can be a major factor in boosting mental wellbeing, she said. In fact, a recent Rover survey found that nine out of 10 dog owners say that since the pandemic began, their dog has played a role in positively impacting their mental health.  “Welcoming a new pandemic puppy to your family is a financial and emotional commitment that shouldn’t be taken lightly – but ask any pet parent and they’ll tell you, the love and joy they bring to your life is priceless.”