By Joanne Richard. Aging isn’t optional, but growing old is, says Chip Conley, mega hospitality entrepreneur and best-selling author, who’s inspiring a new kind of midlife learning and living, and bringing attention to the benefits of rewiring, not retiring for regeneration. Conley, 60, is shifting negative mindsets on aging through his midlife wisdom school, building regenerative communities, and frequent lectures on the benefits of age diversity in the workplace for regeneration. Regenerating rather than retiring is the way to remain relevant in your bonus years, believes Conley, who did just that as the leader at Airbnb. At the age of 52 and twice as old as the average Airbnb team member, the rebel boutique hotelier joined the promising home-sharing tech startup and helped grow it into the global hospitality giant it is today for regeneration. “The technical definition of retirement is to move into seclusion while regeneration means to bring something back to life,” says Conley, and that’s where purpose, instead of going out to pasture, comes in. “Wave goodbye to conventional and welcome intentional: Think golf courses being replaced by wisdom schools…“ His social projects provide a place and the tools to reframe a lifetime of experience for a relevant and exciting “middlescence.” His Modern Elder Academy (MEA) located in Baja California Sur offers learning, growth, and a fresh perspective through workshops and sabbaticals to help master elderhood. And he’s reimagining retirement communities. Wave goodbye to conventional and welcome intentional: Think golf courses being replaced by wisdom schools, says Conley, where purpose and connection flourish in regenerative communities of interconnected, interdependent living. The first of a collection of communities will open in Santa Fe, New Mexico in 2023 on 2,500 acres. “People are more thirsty for community given their experience with the pandemic,” says Conley, who writes a daily blog called Wisdom Well. Aging isn’t to be feared as long as you embrace purpose, wellness and community, says Conley, adding that Yale professor Becca Levy has shown in her research that when you shift from a negative or neutral perspective on aging to a positive mindset, you add 7.4 years of additional, happy life. Instead of becoming like turtles and retreating into our shells as we age – which is actually isolating and speeds up the aging process – consider sticking out your neck and embracing curiosity. Along with increased EQ and happiness, Conley says that “it’s with our necks stuck out that we will also stay curious, interested and inspired… just because we age doesn’t mean we stop growing and exploring the future of aging..” His advice for aging wise and well? “We tend to think of wellness as a personal endeavour when, in fact, The Blue Zones research shows that ‘social wellness’ is one of the key determinants of longevity and happiness later in life. ‘Illness’ starts with the letter ‘I’ while ‘wellness’ starts with the letters ‘we.’ “So, don’t think that your healthy aging is just about your personal exercise, nutrition and sleep. It’s also about who you spend time with and what kind of meaningful relationships you have in your life” “So, don’t think that your healthy aging is just about your personal exercise, nutrition and sleep. It’s also about who you spend time with and what kind of meaningful relationships you have in your life,” he says. Conley is proof that sharing wisdom acquired from a lifetime of careers can fuel personal fulfillment, businesses, and communities, and that age diversity at work makes for better workplaces and intergenerational rejuvenation. His book Wisdom@Work: The Making of a Modern Elder, tells the tale of being an Airbnb mentor and, surprisingly, an intern at times too. Older and younger workers need each other, and all ages can learn from each other. “We have five generations in the workplace for the first time and 40% of employees have a boss younger than them. By 2025, the majority of American employees will have a younger boss. This means we need to create intergenerational collaboration like we’ve never done before. “Often, this could mean that a younger employee is teaching an older employee DQ (digital intelligence) while an older employee is teaching a younger one EQ (emotional intelligence) especially around leadership skills. Both employees and the company are better off for this kind of mutual mentorship.”  The idea of retiring and rehiring is big now. And there’s a real opportunity to collaborate and transfer wisdom. Conley says we need to help companies see that age diversity on teams can make a big difference in companies while also “acknowledging that everyone should be a ‘mentern’ – a mentor and intern at the same time.” One of the cofounders at Airbnb told him that he was the perfect alchemy of curiosity and wisdom – a modern elder, and that’s how he got the title. “It’s that beginner’s mindset that we need to have our whole lives,” adds Conley. “And it’s often shared across generations, in both directions—as a modern elder may have as much to learn from a young person as vice versa” Learning and community make for meaningful second and third chapters: “We’re living longer, organizational power is shifting younger, and the world is changing faster. That leaves people bewildered. I wanted to create a place where people could get the tools and support to feel confident and inspired in the second half of their adult life.” To date, over 1,000 people from two dozen countries have enrolled in his ocean-front academy. Learners range in age from 30 to 88, with an average age of 54. More than 60% are women. Conley is hopeful that his social ventures will be “a catalyst for a new kind of inclusive, intentional community that helps mainstream the idea that wisdom isn’t taught, it’s shared. “And it’s often shared across generations, in both directions—as a modern elder may have as much to learn from a young person as vice versa. Unlike a traditional business focused on amassing massive market share and squeezing out the competition,…
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By Joanne Richard. “Live longer better” is Colin Milner’s motto but to do that we need a seismic shift in how we view the aging population and cater to their needs, prompting us to rethink aging. “The 50+ market now accounts for 70% of disposable income, a number that has grown from 50% twenty years ago” There’s immense untapped potential in industries and services: “The 50+ market now accounts for 70% of disposable income, a number that has grown from 50% twenty years ago,” says Milner, CEO of the International Council of Active Aging, and a leading expert in the health and wellbeing of the older adult. That simple statistic is now impacting virtually event segment of society and most industries, directly and indirectly, says Milner. “What this means is the creation of new industries, products, education, programs, policies, marketing efforts, built environments, expertise, and investment.” But we need to pick up the pace to embrace active aging. At least the aging conversation is more balanced and, instead of a one-dimensional focus on disease management and fixing issues, it recognizes and celebrates that many challenges of aging can be minimized, delayed, or managed to enable us to live our best lives longer, shaping the future of aging. “From how long we can or want to work, to the types of vacations or trips we take, to going back to school in our 60s or 70s, to opening new businesses later in life, the world for its old population is ready to be explored – yet, we are still lacking in our response,” he says. “Many people think active aging is just about being physically active, but it’s not.” “Organizations and government need to up their games, as do individuals who lack the belief in their capabilities,” says Milner, who has launched a podcast called Colin Milner Rethinks Aging With… and he interviews thought-leaders, researchers and aging-well disruptors so we all rethink aging. The greatest barrier to active aging is language, says Milner. Many people think active aging is just about being physically active, but it’s not. “It is about being engaged, versus not, in as many areas as life as you wish.” Rethink aging and its implications on our perceptions of what it means to age actively are crucial in breaking through these misconceptions. A recent survey shows that 90% of older adults believe that healthy aging is about being able to do what you want to do when you want to do it. “But you need to build this foundation to be able to achieve this new life that science, experts, media, and peers tout.” That requires a big rethink because the common thinking is that we’re not capable and feeble, and it’s wrong. That mindset impacts everything from the way people view and treat you, to the way we view and treat ourselves, Milner stresses. Negative thoughts about aging influence our longevity: “From the workplace to social cohesion to whether you live an engaged and vibrant second half of life or whether your own self-perception of aging can potentially take 7.6 years off your life, due to negative thinking, according to Becca Levy at Yale University.” “… if you embrace a lifestyle that keeps you fit, engaged, cognitively sharp, less stress, lower alcohol intake, that you will live better longer.” However, Milner sees changes happening globally: Sarah Harpers, director of Oxford Institute of Population Ageing, says that we should look at all older people as active adults until the point we are frail and need care. And the cover of MIT Technology Review magazine stated, Old Age Is Over and in small letters, If You Want It. “What they are really saying is that if you embrace a lifestyle that keeps you fit, engaged, cognitively sharp, less stress, lower alcohol intake, that you will live better longer.” A study by the American Heart Association shows that if in our 50s we maintained a healthy lifestyle with those five habits, women would live 14 years longer and better, and men 12 years. “It’s a new day for all of us, we just need to understand this and embrace it. A life of inactivity, social isolation, junk food, alcohol and tobacco all come with a cost,” says Milner. The problem for most is that we come late to that realization. We need to understand that we need to own our longevity and health span. “And be curious … curiosity keeps us interested in learning more and exploring more of life.” Milner’s RX for living longer better? And be curious! Curiosity is powerful, and it’s been a running theme brought up by his podcast guests –one that Milner admits he did not expect. “Whether Chip Conley professing that this (curiosity) is his superpower, or Ken Dychtwald naming his book Radical Curiosity because that is how he is, or my 109-year-old grandmother who is as curious as you can get, I think that we all could benefit from becoming more curious. “Curiosity keeps us interested in learning more and exploring more of life,” he adds. *** This is what Conley, a bestselling author and hospitality entrepreneur, had this to say about curiosity on Milner’s recent podcast: “Peter Drucker was quite prescient, a real forecaster. Now, he wrote two-thirds of his 40 books after the age of 65. But the reason I bring him up around curiosity is because I have emulated something that he used to do. “Every two years, he would study a topic that he knew nothing about but he was passionately curious about that topic and he wanted to become one of the world’s leading experts. It was everything from Japanese ikebana, like flower arranging, to medieval war strategies. “He felt like curiosity was the elixir of life, and it lubricated the heart, the mind, the soul.” *** In addition to curiosity, Milner and his guests discussed the idea of regeneration instead of retirement. The term retirement should be retired – “as we live well beyond the age…
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By Joanne Richard. The coronavirus outbreak hasn’t worsened ageism – instead it’s magnified our harmful ageist culture that has gone unchallenged for far too long, activist Ashton Applewhite tells Custodia. And that exposure is a good thing: “The crisis has brought age, aging and oldness out of the dark corners and into the centre of the damn room,” says the ageism disruptor and author, “and it’s giving us an extraordinary opportunity to build on that awareness – to mobilize against ageism and change its course. I just wish it hadn’t taken this hideous human cost…” We live in a society that barrages us with negative messages about how truly awful it is to age and our only value is in being young. This discrimination divides us, costs us lots of money, fills us with terrible dread, and cripples our personal and professional lives. “You’re more likely to live longer – an average of 7 ½ years longer – walk faster, and recover from illness and injury quicker” “Our fears about aging are way of whack with reality, and knowing the facts about getting older leads to a happier, healthier approach for society,” says Applewhite. Reject age shaming. Get off the treadmill of age denial. Stop the hand-wringing! You’re aging yourself, literally. “Our attitudes towards aging affect how our minds and bodies function on a cellular level – ageism makes us sick and shortens lives,” says Applewhite, author of This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism and blogs at thischairrocks.com. She recommends adopting a fact-based rather than fear-based attitude towards aging. And here are the facts about having the facts: You’re more likely to live longer – an average of 7 ½ years longer – walk faster, and recover from illness and injury quicker, says Applewhite. “Aging is not a problem to be fixed or a disease to be cured,” she says. “It is a natural, powerful, lifelong process that unites us all.” Older people with positive self-perceptions are less likely to develop Alzheimer’s, even if we have the gene that predisposes us to that disease, she says. “Actually, dementia rates are actually falling fast. All age-related diseases are declining.” All the worrying and the irrational fear of memory loss generate debilitating anxiety, and this makes us more vulnerable to exactly what we fear the most, she says. The fear is bad for our health and bad for our lives. It’s not all diapers, depression and dementia! “We’re terrified at the prospect that we’ll be drooling in some institution someday, yet only around 3% of older Canadians are living in nursing homes,” says Applewhite. In Canada, 92% of men and women aged 65 and over live at home. “People are happiest at the beginnings and the ends of their lives.” While our fears are real and legitimate, not all of your darkest fears are going to come true. Most “olders” are not falling apart, nor are they train wrecks. Most of us are likely to fall somewhere in the messy middle of the pizza, she says, muddling along just fine – and most people really like getting older. “People are happiest at the beginnings and the ends of their lives. If you don’t want to take my word for it, Google ‘U-curve of happiness.’ Even as age strips us of the things we cherished – physical strength, beloved friends, toned flesh – we grow more content,” Applewhite writes in her Manifesto. But that’s not the way it’s spun by the beauty or medical industries – they profit from pathologizing this natural transition, says Applewhite. We treat it as a disease, we treat it as a social problem, and that’s because no one makes money from satisfaction. Think hard about your attitudes towards age and aging. Where do they come from, who profits from your fears, are they based on observable reality? “Aging is not a problem to be fixed or a disease to be cured,” she says. “It is a natural, powerful, lifelong process that unites us all.” Ask yourself why does aging well mean struggling to look and move like younger versions of ourselves? “It’s embarrassing to be called old until we stop being embarrassed about it!” Unfortunately, our youth-obsessed, sexist, misogynistic, capitalist culture idealizes those who appear not to age, says Applewhite, like older people running marathons or jumping out of airplanes. “Hey, if they inspire you, fantastic, but never forget they are outliers, they are not typical. There should be zero shame if you don’t want to jump out of an airplane, or can’t or can’t afford to jump out of an airplane.” Or you can’t climb stairs or drive at night. Her definition of successful aging: “If you wake up in the morning, you’re aging successfully.” “By having friends of all ages, you will educate and inform yourself organically and help dismantle ageism.” Enjoy the older years by saving for retirement, taking care of your health, and making friends of all ages. “Think of something you want to do and find a mixed-aged group to do it with. By having friends of all ages, you will educate and inform yourself organically and help dismantle ageism.” Ideally, intergenerational living in the form of affordable, age-friendly housing enriches us all. Aging in place is fine as long as we have a way to be socially connected to people and get the help we’re going to need, she says. “Sure, it’s scary to realize that we’re not going to be able to shovel our driveway one day, so do you have a plan for who is going to shovel for you? It’s not about old, sad people needing help – it’s about all ages being in contact with each other.” Tackling ageism requires collective action by companies, communities, and all of us making noise. “Autonomy requires collaborators. We are social creatures: all of life is interdependence. Let’s acknowledge our lifelong need for helping hands and reach for them gratefully and without shame.” Shifting our attitudes and national priorities is critical…
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